I guess one reason I've been sadly neglecting this blog for a couple of months is: I decided to try Internet dating. See, I had this idea that once I'd bought my new flat (in January) and settled into that and my new job, I would start putting some energy into finding a nice partner! Of course these big life things cannot be expected to run smoothly- and I've always been pretty good at work stuff and friend stuff and finding a home stuff, but utterly crap at relationship stuff. However, I thought I would apply some of the same principles- identify what I'm looking for, and really go for it, using all the avenues I can find. So, I joined a couple of Internet dating sites to start with, and put some effort into my "profile" and started looking. I joined one bog-standard site, which is pretty poor, and the new Guardian Soulmates site, which is actually rather fab, and uses the technology really well. The latter is also full of interesting people. Unfortunately very very few of them live in Scotland.
Well, it was kind of exciting at first, getting e-mails from different people and replying and chatting and even meeting some people. I've been on a couple of nice F2F dates. But ultimately it's just another version of real life. There are loads of assholes, some of them really rude and ignorant. Loads of men totally overestimate their own attractiveness, and I can't believe some of the ugly photos they put up, and the whiny, bunny-boiler profiles they write (like this guy who complained that every woman he'd been out with was a bunny-boiler herself - HELLO! - go take a look in the mirror in that case dude- either you're a psycho yourself attracting these women, or they were nice and normal before they met you). There are a very small number of interesting and attractive people that meet your criteria, but some of them don't answer you, and some of them suddenly stop calling after you've, well, you know, engaged in some intimate conversations. All in all, it can be discouraging. Of course I'm not going to give up, but I sometimes think I'm just to weird to find a partner.
I had lunch with my pal Angel today and met her new boyfriend, who she met online (not on a dating site mind, on a web community based on a shared interest). It was great to see her so happy and I really like the guy. This gives me a bit of hope. But- he did say at one point that men don't like up-front women (meaning me). I mean, he's a Saggitarius, so he says what's on his mind which is a great quality- but I do wonder- what will I do? How much should I change to find a partner? I mean, the conventional wisdom is "Be yourself" - but what if it's my "self" that is keeping me single?